Cleveland Hash #547 (Annual General Meeting)


Hash at Billy C's and AGM at Side Tracks on Lakewood Heights Blvd. in Cleveland


Ass Transit had a trail in hand from an eariler date when only I showed up and we ended up _unning down to The Beer Engine for eats and BEER. It was great. I digress; so he had this great trail and now he had a bunch of hounds who actually wanted to run it. We did run and there was snow and railroad tracks and steps and a few bridges to go over and under. There were several beer stops in the best local establishments. Queenie was also the "hare", but in reality AT did all the work and Queenie got all the glory.

The group started out at Billy C's on Lakewood Hts. Blvd. We swilled some beer, ate some $1 Sloppy Joes, talked, caught up on local gossip and then headed out for the run. As I recall there was Little Tramp, Butt Buddy, Island Inbred, Wind Tunnel, Dick Long, Cums Out Her Nose, Ass Transit, Squeeky Cheeks, Anal Yeast, Killer Byte, Little Ench, Capitol Queen, Broken Boner, Hash Brownie and Roasted Nuts.

The elections were held at Side Tracks, a local bar that also served the food. The term "4 more beers" was true as both our GM's retained power for another drunken year. The RA is still Squeeky Cheeks. Little Tramp reatained her grip on the hash cash. Squeeky again is "On-Sec-Hash-Flash but Broken Boner will help out. Butt Buddy again is being punished by retaining the title of Hare Raiser. Biff Demcheck is our new "Ambassador tot he Clueless.' Spank-o-matrix is unfilled because our clueless GM's forgot to elect one (Shame, Shame). The "Hash Harlott", one of the more important positions is now in the hands of Anal Yeast. I'm sure he will do a terrific job. The "Webmaster" is once again Broken Boner. Dick Long & Prosper is the new "Song Meister". Thank God; I really hated that job. I gave Dick Long my cue card for hash songs. Our "Haberdasher" is once again Cums Out Her Nose. Rear Ender didn't show up so we elected him "Hash Historian." Actually, that's a bunch of crap. I just stuck him in there because our GM's forgot about that position too. And finally, we have a new position. Our first "Beer Wench" is Killer Byte. She took to the position like a duck to water. She fetched our beer all night.

Other business involved the schedule. We now hash on the first and third Saturday of each month, dropping the third Sunday. We also dropped the full moon but will do something called "Sex with an OX" on the evening of the Solstice and Equinox. This we will try to do with Akron kind of half way between each metropolis. I think we did this because Hash Brownie pleaded that we hash closer to a central location, like Akron. Broken Boner spoke up and said we do hash in a central location. It's called Cleveland.

Butt Buddy was the real catalist in the "change the schedule" movement. Boner came equipped with different schedules just in case changed hapened. Squeeky wanted to see the data to support such a change. Little Tramp searched the books for any shred of evidence that would keep or toss out the Sunday runs. In the end, the people who wanted to ditch the Sunday runs just shouted down the ones who didn't. We rewarded Butt Buddy by forcing him to hare the very first "3rd Saturday" run.

No one spoke of a Cleveland weekend. I guess we are all still traumatized by our last experience at Nelsons Ledges. You could write a short story about the psychotic owner of the camp ground.

Broken Boner was not able to attend the Cleveland X-mas hash and gift exchange and was not able to bring the "gift" that Too Drunk and K. O. sent from Idaho to that hash. It came to Boner in the mail but it just sat on his floor for several weeks. Boner decided to bring it to the AGM to hand out to some deserving hasher. He tossed the box on the floor. Someone mentioned that it smelled bad. We opened the box and found a bag of RIPE Idaho russet potatoes. Thanks Too and K. O.

Boner received e-mail from Dick Long saying the Akron crew thought the name "Sex-with-an-OX would scare off virgins so for now we are just calling it the Equinox and Solstice. Bummer, I really liked that name.


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